Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Hurting Times
These are hurting times for me as I proceed with a divorce and contemplate solitary life and everything that means. My current writing projects on the importance of community don't help much. I'm going first one way and then the other blindly seeking a path that is meaningful. Transitions have never been easy for me.
You might notice I've changed the section at the bottom of the page to "Finding Love". I had an extra blog at the bottom of the page and was using the module simply to place ads. I decided against that idea and thought it would make a good technology forum but I'm soured on technology right now. I want people not computers.
I've got a lot of material on romantic love that I can share and hopefully it will keep me motivated and give me some hope as well. I don't want to live in front of a computer terminal. I want to live in a relationship with a real person. That means I've got to do some things differently than I have been.
I've been in love several times with different people. Some of those relationships have been short lived. Some have lasted years. The love has always been real for me even if it might not have been real for the other person. Unrequited love sucks!
My current wife and I were married seven years, got divorced and then remarried for another three years. You can't say we didn't try making things work. We tried very hard to do everything we could to make things work between us.
Perhaps the most difficult thing has been a lack of common ground and interests to share. This followed by overwork and pressures from her children and from my children all contributed to a relationship dynamic that bound us in place and wouldn't let either one of us move forward in the direction we wanted to go.
It is love that is allowing us to move forward with this divorce. Fear is what has kept us together far longer than we should have. Fear of being alone and fear of hurting the other person.
You might notice I've changed the section at the bottom of the page to "Finding Love". I had an extra blog at the bottom of the page and was using the module simply to place ads. I decided against that idea and thought it would make a good technology forum but I'm soured on technology right now. I want people not computers.
I've got a lot of material on romantic love that I can share and hopefully it will keep me motivated and give me some hope as well. I don't want to live in front of a computer terminal. I want to live in a relationship with a real person. That means I've got to do some things differently than I have been.
I've been in love several times with different people. Some of those relationships have been short lived. Some have lasted years. The love has always been real for me even if it might not have been real for the other person. Unrequited love sucks!
My current wife and I were married seven years, got divorced and then remarried for another three years. You can't say we didn't try making things work. We tried very hard to do everything we could to make things work between us.
Perhaps the most difficult thing has been a lack of common ground and interests to share. This followed by overwork and pressures from her children and from my children all contributed to a relationship dynamic that bound us in place and wouldn't let either one of us move forward in the direction we wanted to go.
It is love that is allowing us to move forward with this divorce. Fear is what has kept us together far longer than we should have. Fear of being alone and fear of hurting the other person.
# posted by alligator @ 5:59 PM 
